A few quick thoughts on the Super Bowl
Some thoughts on the Giants’ 21-17 victory over the Patriots, as well as the pomp and circumstance of the Super Bowl.
--- Every two minutes of this game I was telling myself, “It should be the Ravens. This should be the Ravens playing tonight.” Yeah, I’m still not over that AFC Championship Game. And yes, it should have been the Ravens playing the Giants.
--- Then again, this game did lead to a post-game freakout by Gisele Bundchen about hubby Tom Brady’s receivers, who dropped several big passes down the stretch. I found this story to be a real whole-big-deal-out-of-nothing item, and yet, utterly hilarious at the same time. The thought of Gisele, the absurdly good-looking, six-foot Brazilian supermodel with a thick Portuguese accent, muttering obscenities about Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez is funny to me on multiple levels.
---The Ravens should definitely resign Bernard Pollard this offseason, if for no other reason than because he completely freaks out Patriots fans.
Bonecrusher took out Brady in the first game of the 2008 season, was around when Wes Welker tore his knee up in 2009 and his tackle of Rob Gronkowski in the AFC title game all but took Gronk out of the Super Bowl.
Just to mess with Pats fans even more, Bonecrusher should write out a “hit list” on his towel with names of prominent Patriots players a la the late Charles Martin against the Bears in 1986. Or at the very least, getting on the mic and cutting a Scott Steiner-esque promo, "I took out Bradee! I took out Welker! I took out Gronkowskee!! Bonecrusher is ya hook up! Holla, if ya hear me!"
---Madonna’s halftime show. Well, the wife liked it. Not five seconds into the performance, as Madonna came out escorted by 100 shirtless dudes in Roman gladiator outfits, she says, “I like it already!”
My main gripe was this: the lip-synching. I believe the first actual live notes were from Cee Lo Green about nine minutes into the performance. It was a spectacle, yes, but shouldn’t there be some actual singing involved?
Not to mention the fact that Madonna’s dance moves looked like Jon Heder and Will Ferrell in “Blades of Glory,” MIA’s flipping off the camera and the fact that when a 53-year old woman does a cheerleader routine, it’s gonna come off as awkward at best.
---It slays me that the Ravens were the only team over.500 the Patriots beat all year (they beat Denver in the divisional round but the Broncos finished 8-8). In fact, New England only played four over-.500 teams all season (the Giants twice, Pittsburgh and the Ravens) and lost three out of four.
---Note to Patriots owner Bob Kraft: If you’re trying to court karma in your favor, allowing misogynist, racist, pill-popping radio gasbag Rush Limbaugh into your box is not the way to do it.
--- Clint Eastwood is still a bad mofo.
---Lots of celebrities needed money this year, whether it was a paunchy Matthew Broderick revisiting Ferris Bueller to sell cars, The Darkness pimping out “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” for a phone commercial or Jay Leno shilling for just about everything. Leno’s presence in commercials always reminds me of Bill Hicks’ legendary “Artistic Roll Call” bit, which is far too profane for me to link to. My personal favorite was Motley Crue’s ad for Kia. Clearly the people at Kia did not read “The Dirt” before signing the guys up to endorse their cars.
--- I always get a kick out of Giants d-lineman Chris Canty and Justin Tuck wearing the most ridiculous bird cage facemasks I’ve ever seen.
--- Sure, now Vince Wilfork has an off game.
--- Now that he’s caught a pass in the Super Bowl, it’s formally time for Chad Ochocinco to call it a career and head off to making crappy reality shows full-time.
--- I can’t believe the Super Bowl champions only won nine regular season games and lost by double digits to the 5-11 Redskins. Twice! Can’t wait to see how those games are treated in the “America’s Game” episode.
--- The last three teams to end the Ravens season are Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and New England. As galling as it’s been to see them end our season, that they all lost the Super Bowl makes it a little more palatable. Interesting note: the last five times the Ravens have been to the playoffs (2006, 2008-11) they have been knocked out by the team that represented the AFC in the Super Bowl.
--- Finally, the 2011 season may have ended in a soul-crushing loss for my Baltimore Ravens, but I was encouraged by this tweet from Torrey Smith, “watching them celebrate gave me goosebumps....we will have that feeling in Baltimore soon enough.”
Amen, Torrey. Next season can’t get here soon enough.