I rock lowbrow bow wow workout music on my iPod
An older and thinner than me by half workout dude was speaking in the Club Fitness locker room and I was eavesdropping. “Why don’t they pump Mozart into the gym?” he asked. “I’m sure people would love it.” Speaking to myself, I was like, “Caucasian, please! Don’t nobody want to listen to no highbrow Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Strauss, Paganini or Stravinsky." There’s a reason why none of the classical composers are played on popular radio stations.
It’s because they are not popular, and therefore it must be the fault of the rest of us who are just too base and low down to get it, like my lowbrow bow wow self. Most people in gyms are rocking iPods, and if you ask them what they listen to, you won’t get an answer. First of all, they can’t hear and secondly, musical taste and the lack thereof is a private matter. “Gardening at Night” by REM is one of my favorites, and I don’t garden and have no idea what the song is about; I just like the way it sounds.
Biofeedback - I can’t be the only person to ever pedal a stationary bike (what does recumbent mean, anyway?) then squeeze the handlebars, get a heart rate of, say, 88 and think, ”Sure, that’s OK,” and the next time I squeeze, still cruising level one with manual effort, it reads 185, let go real fast and check the pulse in my neck and conclude “This particular bike is screwed up.” The solution: Don’t grab heart rate handles of bikes and treadmills unless you are looking to be unsettled. Go have a physical and request a nuclear echo cardio stress test and hope you don’t hear the word “stent” from a cardiologist eating a doughnut.
Blue Hen bust - Kansas played over their heads March 20. The problem is, they did it the entire game and a story the national media was loving came to an abrupt halt, and Delaware basketball and Elena DelleDonne went back into the journalistic junk drawer until next postseason. Elena is spectacular - no doubt about it - but beyond her, a team of many fine players has no identity.
Holy lollipops, Batman - The New York Jets football franchise is an unlikely landing zone for two quarterbacks, Sanchez and Tebow, both with lollipop arms and no zip on the football. Both are handsome men and great guys of high character, but being coached by the slovenly Rex Ryan and his foot fetish self doesn’t work. New York media speculate that if the trade goes down, the writing may be on the wall for Sanchez, but I think more likely it’s Ryan whose act has just worn out.
Snippets - Misericordia University lacrosse standout Ryan Cannon (Milton, Sussex Tech) scored his first collegiate goal in a game against Mt. St. Vincent. Cannon, a freshman attacker, scored his first goal in his first career start in a 16-1 victory over the Dolphins of Mt. St. Vincent. MU will be in action again when the team hosts Elizabethtown Saturday, March 24. Kelsey Doherty had a fourth-inning single that chased home two RBIs as Delaware State softball tied Delaware 5-5 in the second game of a doubleheader after winning the first game 3-0. No word if the game was called because of darkness or they ran out of balls or what. Delaware State, coached by Jeff Savage, former Cape baseball coach, is now 7-11-1, while the Blue Hens are 4-23-1. Josh Byrd and Jesse Gilman, both Cape graduates, are freshman on the Delaware Tech Terry Campus Hawks lacrosse team coached by John Coveleski. The Hawks play Williamson Trade at Wesley College at 1 p.m., Sunday, March 25. Scott Brozey of Cape, now a senior midfielder at Wesley, has 7 goals on the season for the 1-5 Wolverines; that includes a 4-goal effort in a 7-6 win over Hood College in which Brozey scored the game winner in overtime. John Barens, Salisbury class of 1982, is a member of the school's sports Hall of Fame for basketball. John played for Cape, was inducted into the Salisbury hall in 1996, and I’m just finding out about it. Finally, spring sports start for real this weekend. Every day is a fog delay in some classrooms. Go on now, git!