Why is being honest so tricky?
“I stretched my hands out to the sky, we danced with monsters through the night,” Best Day of My Life, American Authors
I spent most of my morning trying to decide what my topic for the day should be. Even during my morning run followed by yoga class, I kept thinking of what I could possibly write to interest my readers, while also making up for my lack of entries the past few days. I apologize to my loyal readers, but my presence and time was needed elsewhere and by a friend in need so I had to make sacrifices. That said, what shall I write about today? What Laura Bush-esque situation will be the focus. Without further ado, it will be honesty.
Why is it so hard for people to be honest with others and with themselves? I believe in honesty, but even I struggle with it daily. I don’t mean lying, I mean struggle with when to speak up and be honest, and when to keep quiet. I will present two examples and how I channeled Laura Bush in my actions and responses.
Last week I had contact with two people that I really hadn’t spoken to in a while. Why we weren’t in contact much isn’t the issue, it’s how the interaction with both went down. The first person I saw I hadn’t seen or talked to in over a month, and in that time a lot has changed in my life. But why did I not share any of that with them? Why when asked if anything was new with me, did I say no? I didn’t even hesitate, I just answered nope and changed the subject. Even when asked about my upcoming calendar and if I was available on a particular day, I didn’t even speak up. I just told them to get up with me. I wasn’t honest with this person, but I wasn’t dishonest either. I just wasn’t anything. The reason I think I was has to do with the other person I had contact with.
The other person and I reconnected and began a long, overdue exchange that started out Ok but then, well read on. As the conversation continued I started to be blamed for everything and the loss of contact. Seriously? I admit I had been MIA a little, but really I wasn’t to blame. I don’t believe in pointing the finger or placing blame in any situation, especially when it is unwarranted. I was livid the more this continued. Do I go off or let it go? Well I let it go. I did what I think Laura Bush would have done. Making a big deal over it wasn’t going to accomplish anything but make an already strained relationship worse. I just changed the subject and moved on. I think Laura Bush would have been proud.
What I don’t think she would have been proud of was how after that I let it change how open I was with another person. True I am a private person and don’t open up much to anyone, but I still usually would have told the person standing in front of me what was going on in my life. I don’t know if it was a trust issue or embarrassment, but I really need to work on being more honest. Essentially, more like Laura Bush.
A second example on honesty is when do you know someone is being honest and when they are just telling you what you want to hear. Now this is a trickier situation. It is hard to tell and you don’t always have the luxury of time to prove which one it is. So when does Laura Bush just believe the person and when does she know this isn’t the full truth. Well I personally had the luxury of time recently and learned, unfortunately, it was the latter. I was lied to over and over again. At first I was hurt but it didn’t last long. The more I learned, the more I realized that I didn’t care. Why was I even bothering with a dishonest person? I knew long ago they were transparent, but I guess I needed proof. I got it and amazingly, I am Ok. I do think Laura Bush would approve of putting myself first and walking away. Some people just aren’t worth it and time with prove that over and over again.
Honesty is something that presents itself every day, but it is how we handle it that matters. I will struggle with this daily, but I know that I will decide what is right by asking, what would Laura Bush do?